I feel so tired, mentally. This has been one long damn hard haul.

One hour and eleven minutes of dark ambient music. Over $800 in software used. More long nights than I care to remember. Endless self-doubt. Lost weekends recording and re-recording and re-re-re-recording. Back issues from sitting still for hours. Headaches. A lot of feeling like this was pointless. An increase in alcohol intake. Sleepless nights from stress.

But what support network I have (looking t you ps1borg, and the denizens of Ambient Online) rose to the challenge and kept me on track. And I had more encouragement on this than any project before.

This album was meant to be, and whether or not I make a single penny, I have MADE IT HAPPEN and that's one more thing off my bucket list!

Back when I was 17, me and 2 wonderful ladies made a bet that one of us would release a full album and make a sale. The news.. one of them married a preacher and quit music. One of them went all New Age and quit guitar for.. a frame drum.. and quit recording. My ex-wife even told me to my face I didn't have what it took to make an album and she'd be famous. Last I heard she sold her over $10,000 worth of gear and went to work as a florist.

Isn't it funny how things work out? It was on my bucket list, I'm getting old and sick, so I Just Did It.

It was hard, but as I sit here, looking at my baby, I'm proud of her! She's a shadow in the darkness, and she has inherited the sucking void in my soul.. so very like me.

When I get up May 20th, my birthday, I press PUBLISH on Bandcamp and her birthday becomes mine as well.

It was worth every pain and every tear. I think she's ready for the world!