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  • could use some fresh ears...

    hey all,

    i know i havent been here in a little bit...been super busy. ive been working on some new stuff and im getting a little burnt out.

    this track in particular has been giving me the business, as sometimes they do, and ive heard it too much to tell if its crap...if its ok, does it sound complete...you know. my natural tendencies are to keep adding stuff and adding stuff...which doesnt work too well for ambient so im restraining myself.

    anyways...i could really use some advice on this, im not sold on it myself, but i dont think its time to scrap it either...of course at this point it could be obviously great or a steaming turd and i wouldnt be able to tell the difference.

    so if you kind folks wouldnt mind giving a listen and a bit of feedback id really appreciate it.

    be as harsh as you see fit...seriously...its fine.

    im more interested in composition rather than mixing as im not even sure its done yet so i havent mixed it at all really, though if theres something glaring...be my guest.

    thnx everyone

    http://chaoswyrm.com/files/tracks/draft1.mp3
    Last edited by chaosWyrM; 05-21-2015, 01:09 PM.
    http://chaoswyrm.com
    http://soundcloud.com/chaoswyrm

  • #2
    just gave it a quick cursory listen, but here's my two cents anyway... lots to like! I'd perhaps try & get the pad sounds a bit more interesting sounding. At the one minute mark there's this change in atmosphere - I like the idea to do this abruptly, but somehow it felt like the transition needs more work. as the sounds grow less diffuse towards the 3 minute mark, i think you need to work on the integration of the bell like sounds with the background ...perhaps give all of it shared room with reverb, etc. I get the idea of the dark, deep background vs the increasingly intricate patterns (say from 4' on...) - if I had to remix the track I'd pull the background down more...at the moment it feels like there's two slightly unconnected things going on...the background, which is pretty defined (say as in low organ tones) and could be a bit more ethereal & mysterious & the glassy arps-like tones. What I'd aim for is a more mysterious integrated sound. To put it in an image...I'd turn the glassy melody line more warm & glowing...while at the fringes...where the storm howls...the darkness seeps in.
    www.soundcloud.com/phoenstorm

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    • #3
      I really enjoyed listening!

      For my ears it is good as it is. Perhaps a little more reverb on the bells could be fine.

      For me this track has an industrial touch, like machines working on and on. So the roughness in the sounds fits well.
      ahornberg.bandcamp.com
      soundcloud.com/ahornberg

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      • #4
        thnx for the replies.

        @phoenstorm: i completely agree with you on the pads..."more interesting" is one of the things ive been knocking my head against. that change at 1 minute is probably a bit too abrupt...and your right about the transition needing work, though i think it ultimately boils down to a technical issue (with the sound source im using) that i can make work better pretty easily. ill give the reverb a try...i had been holding off on it as the sound itself has reverb on it already and i didnt want to reverb the reverb...but it sound like a good idea...and if its too much i can tone it down. as far as the background goes...ill see if i can bring it back some...though i really think id like to keep the detail in it...that drone is actually where the whole thing stems from. i understand though that just because a track starts out one way...doesnt mean it end up that way (usually doesnt).

        a lot of stuff to think about...thank you so much!

        @ahornberg: thanks...and yeah, my background before venturing into ambient was heavily in industrial (and a few other things). most everything i do tends to keep that industrial flavor.

        this has been very helpful...thank you. i think im going to let it simmer a few days and not even open that project. hopefully a little time away will give me a clearer perspective.
        http://chaoswyrm.com
        http://soundcloud.com/chaoswyrm

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        • #5
          Interesting track. This sounds quite Arctic to me. I recommend the whole thing be quieter, sounds too loud at the moment. But that's something you can easily fix. You manage to keep enough new elements coming in to maintain interest. That may be all I can say to you.
          https://thegreatschizm.bandcamp.com

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          • #6
            lol...so i just came back to this and right off the bat i realize that one of the instruments wasnt rendering properly...soooo that explains why the 1:00 mark was sounding so abrupt to everyone...even more so than i thought it was.

            merp.
            http://chaoswyrm.com
            http://soundcloud.com/chaoswyrm

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            • #7
              ok so ive reworked it, ive tried to incorporate most (if not all) of the suggestions i received.

              thanks everyone, i think they were spot on.

              anyway...heres what i did:

              brought the background drone down a bit
              added some soft reverb to the "bells" to warm them up
              tweaked something in one of the sounds that was causing some ringing to get too loud
              fixed a render issue that was preventing one of the instruments from playing properly
              slight (very slight) rearranging of some of the composition
              added a slight ambiance reverb to the entire thing to make it more cohesive.
              slight level tweaks here and there.

              anyway, heres the new version:

              http://chaoswyrm.com/files/tracks/ambient3draft3.mp3

              ive left the old one up in case anyone wants to compare.

              thoughts and general comments are welcomed and appreciated.
              http://chaoswyrm.com
              http://soundcloud.com/chaoswyrm

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              • #8
                personally I prefer your initial mix because of the flavor of roughness
                ahornberg.bandcamp.com
                soundcloud.com/ahornberg

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                • #9
                  hmmm....well i guess it doesnt hurt to have a third draft...lol.

                  i dont really want to loose to much of that roughness, but i do want it to be cohesive.

                  so heres another tweak., i wont list what i did.

                  http://chaoswyrm.com/files/tracks/ambient3Bdraft.mp3

                  @ahornberg you mentioned the first one gave you a sense of machines working on and on...which is almost exactly what i was going for. the title of this track is eppur si muove.



                  does it retain that feeling for you?
                  http://chaoswyrm.com
                  http://soundcloud.com/chaoswyrm

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by chaosWyrM View Post
                    hmmm....well i guess it doesnt hurt to have a third draft...lol.

                    i dont really want to loose to much of that roughness, but i do want it to be cohesive.

                    so heres another tweak., i wont list what i did.

                    http://chaoswyrm.com/files/tracks/ambient3Bdraft.mp3

                    @ahornberg you mentioned the first one gave you a sense of machines working on and on...which is almost exactly what i was going for. the title of this track is eppur si muove.



                    does it retain that feeling for you?
                    it defininitely moves ... personally I prefer melodies that do not stand in front so clear. I like those bells been laid in that bed of noise as they are on your first mix. but that's my personal taste. others might prefer the more clear version. maybe it's different on speakers. I mostly listen through headphones. but beside that the more noise and artifacts the more industrial it sounds to me.
                    ahornberg.bandcamp.com
                    soundcloud.com/ahornberg

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